Sandra Felt - Beyond the Good-Girl Jail
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PRAISE for Beyond the Good-Girl Jail: When You Dare to Live from Your True Self

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The Promise of Tears
by Sandra Felt

Earthquakes all around,
Fears splashing like tidal waves
Fast encroaching on my personal garden.
Tears come, then some more, And more and more,
Pulling me down into my protective cocoon. Shaking, hiding, Downtrodden, alone again.
​Will this last forever?
Hope evaporated.
Oh, where did it go?
Can’t find my garden,
My anchor, my safety,
My me.
But look! There through the blur of tears
And the fog of sniffles,
The sun returns,

Rising again all peachy and orange, Bringing light again to my darkness, Life again to dawn,
Peace to my soul.
And bringing me back home.


© Sandra Felt 

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Beyond the Good-Girl Jail is a seminal book for both therapists and
clients. Wise, accessible, and filled with illustrative case histories, it’s
more than just clear and instructive; it’s a page-turner that’s hard to put
down. Each chapter feels like a revelation, adding depth and dimension
to the perennial question of what it is to become whole, real, and rooted
in one’s essential self. The clear prose brings the reader to insight over
and over again—‘aha, I really get that!’ The poetry deepens the insight
and goes directly to the heart. This book is a treasure that is bound to
become a classic for both therapists and their clients. Brava, Sandra!”
--Joan Borysenko, PhD
New York Times bestselling author,
Minding the Body, Mending the Mind
 
“This is a book every woman must read. Sandra Felt is correct, it
has not been written before and it speaks to all of us women. I started
reading it and didn’t want to put it down. It is a book that you will keep
and re-read. It is our ‘get out of jail’ card! It’s not a free get out of jail
card—we have to do the work—but Sandra offers the path.”
--Claudia Black, PhD
author, It Will Never Happen to Me, Repeat After Me,
and co-author The Missing Piece: Solving the Puzzle of Self
 
“As Sandra Felt shows, the Good-Girl syndrome is a mask, a prison,
a trap that limits people’s lives, deadens their relationships, and drains
them of energy. As I have often witnessed, it is also a major source of
physical and mental pathology. Sandra has written a simple yet elegant
guide to escaping the prison and finding the true self that has so long
languished underneath the mask. This book will enhance your health.”
--Gabor Maté, MD
author, When the Body Says No: Exploring
the Stress-Disease Connection
 
 “There are not enough superlatives to describe Beyond the Good-Girl
Jail. It is brilliant, well-written, practical, and user-friendly, whether the
reader is a psychotherapy client, a therapist, or simply interested in bettering her life. The book reflects both Sandra Felt’s therapeutic acumen
as well as the transparent authenticity of her own healing process.
This book is not formulaic self-help Pablum but a work of tremendous
depth and complexity presented with remarkable clarity, wisdom, and
compassion—a must read.”
--Lorie Dwinell, LCSW
co-author, After the Tears: Helping Adult Children
Heal Their Childhood Trauma
 
“Beyond the Good-Girl Jail is a title at once provocative and hopeful.
Therapist Sandra Felt has written a very wise and compassionate book
for trauma survivors, many of whom struggle to identify with—or even
like—who they are. Using vignettes from her own recovery, original
poetry, and a depth of thoughtfulness, she provides readers with concrete
suggestions and benchmarks for recovery that are founded on them as
individuals rather than on the rules and the desires of others.”
--Christine A. Courtois, PhD, ABPP
author, It’s Not You, It’s What Happened to You:
Complex Trauma and Treatment
 
“Sandra Felt extends an invitation that should not be missed to join
her on a journey to examine and develop your ‘true self.’  She includes
detailed guidelines on ways to recognize, reconnect with, rebuild, and
return home to yourself.  She demonstrates how to be open to awakening
moments and how to take risks in order to invite aliveness and happiness
into one’s life.  She creatively uses a combination of personal anecdotes,
case studies, and poetry to demonstrate how to ‘re-story’ one’s life. Psychotherapists will find the practical suggestions offered a useful resource
to use with their clients.”
—Don Meichenbaum, PhD
distinguished professor emeritus, University of Waterloo
research director of the Melissa Institute for Violence Prevention
 
 “The foundation of all healthy relationships is honest self-awareness.
Beyond the Good-Girl Jail lays that foundation in concrete. It zeroes in
on the heart of the matter.”
--Pat Love, EdD
co-author, You’re Tearing Us Apart: Twenty Ways We Wreck Our
Relationships and Strategies to Repair Them
 
“This insightful and warmly written book provides the keys to unlock
and free our muffled selves from our respective cages and thereby finally
and fully respond to all of life’s opportunities, challenges and joys . . .
both inside and out.”
--Gregory Boothroyd, PhD, LPC
professor emeritus, Western Michigan University
co-author, Going Home: A Positive Emotional Guide for
Promoting Life-Generating Behaviors
 
“Sandra’s book, Beyond the Good Girl Jail hits the target in understanding
what happens to children from painful families. Her story is
provocative, inspiring, and clear. Not only does it explain the depth of
confusion and emotional pain suffered by children (and adult children)
who are traumatized, it offers direct and easy to understand tools for
moving from pain to comfort and from confusion to clarity. It is an
empowering read. I highly recommend this book.”
--Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, MS, CDC
author, Becoming a Sage: Discovering Life’s Lessons
One Story at a Time, and founder of Onsite Workshops
 
“Beyond the Good-Girl Jail is an amazing book about the transformation
of beliefs that were supposed to make one happy only to discover
that they were meaningless.  This is a book of self-exploration and the
courage it takes to live the life that works for you.  I highly recommend
this well-written and thought-provoking book for everyone who wants
to live a life of meaning and for those who truly want to find their true
selves.  You won’t be disappointed.
--Robert J. Ackerman, PhD
author, Perfect Daughters and Silent Sons
​

“Sandra Felt has written a really valuable book. It is interesting,
inspiring, practical, and wise, all rolled in one. I think readers will find it
very helpful in their recovery from life’s blows.”
--Colin A. Ross, MD
co-author, Trauma Model Therapy:
A Treatment Approach for Trauma,
Dissociation and Complex Comorbidity
 
“I found this book to be comforting, personal, and supportive in many
ways. It helped me reflect on my own life, and my efforts to be a whole
person with a sense of self. I really appreciate how Sandra interweaves
her personal story with client examples, useful information to expand
core concepts, and her own poetry. What affected me most in Sandra’s
book was her honesty. Time and again, she shared about her choice
points, revealing the depth of her personal integrity and how she was
able to bring her values and her life choices into alignment.
“While the book includes some of Sandra’s journey, I think her story
is also every woman’s story, that we each must confront the same issues
that Sandra confronts. This book is a valuable tool for women finding
their voice and seeking their lost Self. I found it very inspiring . . . I think
you will, too.”
--Janae B. Weinhold, PhD LPC
co-author, Developmental Trauma: the Game

Changer in the Mental Health Profession

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  • Home
  • The Author
    • About Sandra Felt
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    • About The Book
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